Let me preface this by saying I adore animals. Seriously. I’ve grown up raising money to save the rainforest and volunteering at animal shelters and I rarely eat meat. And animals love me. Even the ones that hate everyone else. My best friend has a yorkie who will not go near anyone outside of the immediate family, except me. She runs away from everyone else, but when I come over she’s all over me.
This is my 10th night of dogsitting in the past two months. And my disdain for this dog has reached an unimaginable point. From the second I walk in the door, the dog is all over me, scratching, barking, and displaying his constant erections like a trophy.
The grossest part is that the dog shares dishes with the owner. Seriously. They eat off the same plates. This is not endearing, it’s disgusting, and the reason why I had to bring my own set of silverware and plates to avoid cross-contamination. The house is covered in pug paraphernalia and looks like the perfect setting for a horror movie. God help me if I’m in my thirties and living like this.
I’m definitely not the most patient person, but I’ve never had this much trouble. And you’re talking to the girl that used to help train abused dogs and commanded birthday parties of 30 screaming 5-year-old boys. I have tried everything I know to calm this dog down and nothing helps.
This dog had better never run for president because he will be hit with a slew of sexual harassment charges.
*Update* I’ve taken him out 5 times since 4pm and walked him for about 20 minutes. And of course he decides to poop inside on the floor. AWESOME.