Where oh where is my motivation? I started off this week so gung-ho with plans to kick some butt. Lo and behold, it’s only Tuesday and I’m already crashing. Early morning walk with Truly? Didn’t happen. Even with the amazing inspiration I attached to my alarm:
Standing half the day at work? Fail. I powered through on my makeshift standing desk (aka a cardboard box) for 2 hours in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, but didn’t hit my four hour minimum target.
I figured I could redeem myself with yoga tonight. I have one class left in my pack and can hopefully purchase a new pack after my next paycheck. Instead, I let myself hide behind my workload and other excuses.
So here I am, continuing my Netflix marathon of The Office while half-heartedly trying to get some things done, regretting my inactivity today. The effects are physical too: I feel a lot of tension in my jaw, neck, and shoulders as well as general restlessness. If I had just gotten myself to yoga, I would be feeling relaxed and accomplished and ready to sleep.
The good news is I have been staying pretty on track with my other two September goals. My savings plan is off to a good start – the only somewhat extraneous purchases in the past week have been a new hairbrush and a single sunflower. I need to revamp my Mint budget and find more places to cut back so I can open another savings account specifically for travel.
My food goal is also progressing. Prepping meals on Sunday really helped – I have baked sweet potatoes and roasted veggies to last me for lunch through tomorrow. Instead of being crazy strict with what I’m eating for dinner every day, I wrote down 10 choices I can choose from for which I have ingredients on hand. I need to get over my fear of eating and reacting poorly to certain foods. Eating lunch every day this week will be a huge step in the right direction. I know the lack of nutrients and stress are big contributors to my exhaustion and fueling myself with whole foods will hopefully help both issues.
Excellence is a habit. Habits take 21 days to make. So in my mind, if I can be perfect for 21 days, I’ll have it in the bag.
Life totally does not work that way. It’s high time for me to find that place between complacency and crazy.
I don’t want to settle for being plain old good. I don’t want to pressure myself to always be the best. But I do want to strive to be better.
There are so many things I want to accomplish. I need to stop spreading myself so thin and focus on a couple important goals at a time. Three things, to be exact.
Eat real food.
Simple, right? Hopefully. September is about going back to basics for me. I don’t need a fancy diet or a fancy gym subscription or fancy pants (although, I would really love a pair of fancy pants TBH).
Eat real food.
Eat the things my nutritionist tells me to eat. Don’t skip meals. Buy whole, yummy foods and have fun exploring new tastes and recipes.
No unnecessary purchases. Yes, that means no new nail polish (excuse me while I cry myself to sleep). So when Zoya posts crazy BOGO deals, I must resist.
Get out there and move. Stop moping on the couch when I feel sick and go for a walk. Go to yoga. Run. Stretch every morning and every night.
I have the tools to be better. I’ve made the choice to be better. All that’s left is to do.
I came into this 3 day weekend with plans of grandeur. A clean car! Garden! Work out! Cook 100 meals from scratch to freeze!
My lofty expectations have fallen flat. Sleeping in! Multiple naps! Disney channel! Another nap!
The past two days have seen me not move more than a 5 foot radius from my mom’s couch. That’s right, I’m not even being lazy on my own as an adult, I’m doing it from my childhood home.
I get that exhaustion is a side effect of all my crazy health stuff, but this is getting ridiculous. Friday night, I had plans with my best friend. I got to my mom’s later than expected and asked if we could push back our meeting time so I could unwind. Unwinding turned into an episode of Girl Meets World which turned into a nap. I considered asking for a rain check. But I made myself get up, wash my face, and be a real person. 10 minutes later, my fellow sleep-deprived friend calls feeling sick and I get the free pass I wanted to spend the rest of the evening laying on the floor under the guise of “stretching”.
I know I’m still getting back into the swing of things and learning to balance everything – but at some point my will to get out and DO needs to overcome my constant yearning for a nap.
So lovely friends, I need your help. What are your tips for fighting fatigue? I’m up for anything!
Now I’m not going to pretend to be a soccer superfan. I’ve yet to tune into the World Cup. It’s not just my cable-less #adulting status – I usually love these crazy sports events. Things have just been so busy between my move and my body rejecting food as poison that it hasn’t been high on my priority list.
However, I did happen to catch a clip of Team USA’s signature “I believe that we will win” chant while waiting in yet another waiting room last week and I couldn’t help but feel proud and riled up. There’s something about hearing a crowd put all their passion and support into a team and its victory.
This got me thinking – what if we believed we could win every day? What if we adopted this mantra and used it to propel ourselves to our own victories? What if we shouted these words to ourselves, a personal battle cry as we tackle life’s challenges?
I think we do ourselves a disservice by not believing we will win. How many times have you just assumed someone else is going to get that promotion or you won’t be the one picked for the team? If you’re setting yourself up to lose in your mind, how will you ever win? I think having that true belief can push us forward – even if we don’t win, we will end up closer. There’s something to be said for that confidence, knowing you have what it takes to win and you will work to get to where you want to be.
Every 5 minutes I change my mind about what to do when it comes to my living situation. Do I hold out for a couple months and move out in the summer? Do I try to find a little house or apartment I can afford now? Do I cross my fingers that one of my friends will decide to move out and I’ll have an insta-roomie? Or do I suck it up and save up for the next year or two for a down payment?
There are so many factors, I feel like my brain is going to explode. Part of me is scared, what if I get in over my head and can’t afford rent or something breaks and I don’t know how to fix it? The other part craves that freedom and independence and certified grown-up responsibility.
Ok and another part is just obsessed with decorating my own place. I’ve collected lots of adorable mismatched vintage items and always have my eye out for perfect additions. I just found the cutest bedding set that I’m thinking about going ahead and purchasing – it’s purple and orange!
I’ve been trolling Craigslist for what feels like 7 years looking at places and emailing landlords. I’ve even gone so far as to email actual realtors asking about places for sale. I feel like such a loser for still living at home. It feels lazy. It doesn’t matter that I work and go to school full-time and volunteer and freelance. I live in my mom’s house and that makes me feel like a kid who’s just pretending to be grown-up.
But I also don’t want to look back and regret that I didn’t just stick it out and save money. I have friends who already own houses and they’re not even 30. If I rent, will I ever be able to own? Am I overthinking this entire thing?