Sleeping beauty.

I came into this 3 day weekend with plans of grandeur. A clean car! Garden! Work out! Cook 100 meals from scratch to freeze!

Via Hyperbole and a Half
Via Hyperbole and a Half

My lofty expectations have fallen flat. Sleeping in! Multiple naps! Disney channel! Another nap!

little-mermaid-sleep

The past two days have seen me not move more than a 5 foot radius from my mom’s couch. That’s right, I’m not even being lazy on my own as an adult, I’m doing it from my childhood home.

tumblr_inline_mi31twj0z21r9trdm_pdxzx

I get that exhaustion is a side effect of all my crazy health stuff, but this is getting ridiculous. Friday night, I had plans with my best friend. I got to my mom’s later than expected and asked if we could push back our meeting time so I could unwind. Unwinding turned into an episode of Girl Meets World which turned into a nap. I considered asking for a rain check. But I made myself get up, wash my face, and be a real person. 10 minutes later, my fellow sleep-deprived friend calls feeling sick and I get the free pass I wanted to spend the rest of the evening laying on the floor under the guise of “stretching”.

post-30797-tuxedo-cat-kitten-toe-stretch-ImiR

I know I’m still getting back into the swing of things and learning to balance everything – but at some point my will to get out and DO needs to overcome my constant yearning for a nap.

lets-do-this

So lovely friends, I need your help. What are your tips for fighting fatigue? I’m up for anything!

The smallest things that can ruin your day

I am so tired of listicles. First of all, listicle is hands-down the worst word ever created. I would rather read Kimye wedding blogs for all eternity than see the word listicle ever again. So in the spirit of smalls things that drive us crazy, I present:

The smallest things that can ruin your day

(This is not a listicle)

((Ok it kind of is but I won’t tell if you don’t))

1. Perpetual hangnails.

2. That John Legend song.

3. Not having enough space on your phone to take one measly picture, but then when you delete one picture in an eye-for-an-eye fashion, there is still not enough room. 107 deleted pictures and a trashed app later, you’re finally golden.

4. People who turn left.

5. The stress of assembling exact change.

6. Salad dressing spills.

7. The extreme, burning heat generated by your laptop when atop your lap.

8. Non-Halloween incarnations of candy corn.

9. Vindictive parking tickets.

10. Expired links.

11. Nail polish chips.

12. Alternate spellings.

13. Running out of hot water mid-shampoo.

14. That point between spring and summer when it’s too early for air conditioning.

15. Sneaky dryer sheets.

16. Missed calls from an unknown number with no voicemail.

17. Unexpected turbulence.

All the words

Sometimes I feel like words shouldn’t exist. You know how when you’re trying to spell something or you say someone’s name over and over and it starts to sound completely ridiculous? Bethany. Bethany. Bethany. Bethany. Beth – any? Beth-an-y? BETHANY??? What is this?? Who would put these letters together and say they are a thing? Was there some tribal council of word makers who would randomly pick scrabble letters from a bag and arrange them into words? And why can’t we just agree to allow proper nouns in Scrabble?

 

 

Potential Hobbies for Unemployed Disney Villians

+ Manufacturing stickier DVD labels
+ Sneaking meat into vegetarian dishes
+ Making campaign calls for tea partiers
+ Mislabeling clothing to be too small
+ Creating ridiculous wifi passwords
+ Stealing credit card numbers to make tiny indisputable purchases
+ Running an army of Twitter bots
+ Igniting border disputes
+ Egging on the neighborhood dogs’ 3am barking
+ Causing traffic jams
+ Tearing the legs off starfish
+ Aiding in the disappearance of single socks
+ Stealing all the chopsticks from sushi restaurants
+ Putting out one Christmas light on a 500 bulb strand
+ Producing sequels to awful movies
+ Stepping on sidewalk cracks
+ Picking scabs
+ Using up all the hot water
+ Selling email addresses to spammers
+ Never picking up dog poop
+ Turning every penny heads-down
+ Tricking people into forgetting to cancel their free trials
+ Making wine with an ABV under 5%
+ Creating a paper cut epidemic
+ Hiding keys
+ Writing theater reviews
+ Selling expired dairy products
+ Freezing mobile applications
+ Encouraging unsubstantiated bitching
+ Poking holes in Capri Sun straws
+ Activating the check engine light
+ Never replacing the toilet paper
+ Writing Nickelback songs
+ Underestimating the dietary needs of goldfish

{Update} Has anyone in this family ever seen a chicken?

So you may remember last November when I rescued two love-torn ceramic chickens from the depths of a bargain bin.

 

They are currently having a love-in aka tucked safely away in my basement until I move out.

This weekend while shopping for some gifts, I made an incredible discovery.

I found their mom.

The resemblance is uncanny.

I wanted to get her so badly and reunite this feathered family, but with only $13 in my bank account I had to settle for a picture.

I think I might have a problem.

PS if you don’t get the reference in the title of my post, you need to stop whatever you’re doing and go watch Arrested Development right now.

Sunday Social!

Linking up for another wonderful Sunday Social!

Sunday Social

What is the first website you log on to each day?
Twitter. And by first website I mean when I wake up at 3am every morning (because my brain hates me), I spend a good 30 minutes scrolling.
Give us some funny websites you visit that we need to know about
Anything with animals cracks me up. And Suri making fun of celebrity children is hilarious.
Pinterest or Facebook? Why?
Pinterest. It makes my OCD self happy (categorized visual bookmarks!!) and I’ve made a ton of awesome recipes I found on the site, most recently the amazingly delicious Chocolate Peanut Butter Awesome Bars!
Twitter or Instagram? Why?
Twitter! I enjoy it because it’s a lot more interactive than Instagram: I’ve made long-distance friends and had some amazing conversations while tweeting! PS you can follow me @ictine 🙂
Favorite youtube video…post it!
This video reminds me sooo much of my own dog. It’s adorable and hilarious.

Biggest online pet peeve?
I hate when people complain constantly on twitter or facebook or their blogs. I know I’m guilty of complaining a little, but I always try to do it in a humorous way.

Sunday Social

I officially need to pre schedule all of my link up blog posts because I am just never around the day of! I did have a legit excuse this weekend though, I was in the lovely city of Pittsburgh helping my brother move into his new apartment. Specifically, I spent Sunday moving his friends heavy couches up 8 twisty flights of stairs and cooking 100 meals for all the boys. Have I mentioned I’m the BEST sister?

Sunday Social

What were you like in Middle School/HS? (pictures)
I was weird. I mean, I’ve always been weird. I was really shy and quiet and only came out of my shell with my best friends or onstage or at work where I ran birthday parties for kids. I was always super busy between 30 hours a week of dance class, play rehearsals, choir practice, color guard, working, teaching Sunday school, and fitting in time for friends. I read a ton and saved up my money to see Broadway shows. I loved doing things for my friends – throwing surprise parties and making creative gifts and silly parodies.
At least this is one step up from a mirror shot.
I thought I was a Hollister model.
8th grade graduation dance with my two besties ❤
This is me doing a yak impression and my friends being afraid of me. Typical.
Obsessed with slash terrified of dinosaurs
lovies ❤
Spent my life in stage make-up
What were your favorite past times?
Performing, in any aspect. Even if it was just re-enacting a funny incident for friends. I loved being onstage – acting, singing, and dancing. I was the first student to ever be in all four plays and all four musicals in high school. When I wasn’t performing or rehearsing, I loved going on crazy adventures with my friends. We used to have dance parties in the Dairy Queen parking lot where one of my friends worked. We had crazy themed parties (ChristmaHannaBirthdayka) and went to all the dances and school functions together. We also spent weekends playing card games and hot tubbing. I loved my job, even though it was pretty crazy running birthday parties for 30 five year olds. I loved being creative and acting like a kid. I also liked teaching Sunday school – my class was four and five year olds and they were so adorable. Traveling was my biggest passion and I was so lucky to go to places like Hawaii, Mexico, and Europe throughout middle school and high school. I also spent lots of summer weekends on the lake boating, tubing, and water skiing with friends.
With friends in Athens. Don’t worry, I’m not naked – those are khaki shorts.
Lake day!
Celebrating a friend’s 16th birthday
My friends all loved to ice skate, but I am terrible at it and would hide on the side of the rink until one of my friends agreed to tow me around the ice like a child.
Climbing Mt. Everest aka the giant mountain of snow in the movie theater parking lot. So very cool.
Taking the train into the city to see Spring Awakening!
Sneaking a peek at Tom’s cards during Mao.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Bracelet ❤
What songs were you obsessed with? (Backstreet Boys anyone?)
My best friends and I had a whole dance routine to Mambo Number Five which we HAD to perform every time we heard it. I also loved B*witched, N*Sync, Britney, Chrisina, and LFO. I spent most of high school listening to Broadway soundtracks: Les Mis, Aida, Rent, The Apple Tree, The Drowsy Chaperone, Chicago, Spring Awakening, 42nd Street, and many, many more.
What fashion statement do you look back on and cringe?
My middle school/high school style wasn’t too bad, but back in 5th grade I decided I was too cool for jeans and refused to wear them. This resulted in a lot of black sporty striped pants paired with nice tops. Yikes.
Attractive.
fashion model.
Who was your celeb crush?
I didn’t really have celeb crushes. Instead I pined over boys at school who I would never actually have the courage to talk to. I was super cool.
What were your favorite tv shows/movies?
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (and everything Audrey), White Christmas, The Charlie’s Angels movies, Spice World, Blue Crush, Finding Nemo, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
TV I was obsessed with Everwood, Friends, and TGIF

It’s Ok Thursday

I’m so excited that my first time linking up for It’s Ok Thursdays coincides with its one year anniversary!

Its Ok Thursdays

It’s okay…

That I have crushes on fictional 19th century Russian characters.

That I took a full 24 hours to recover from Firefly. And ate half a pan of brownies in the process.

That I didn’t get the grade I needed in my crazy finance intensive and now I have to retake it.

That I weigh myself obsessively.

That I still enjoy the Disney channel.

That I wore a bikini top instead of a bra for two days in a row because I’m too lazy to do laundry.

That I ate cheesecake for dinner tonight.

That I’m sad over what could have been.

That I’m moving on.

Ambitions of a cookie + ULTIMATE CONTEST CHALLENGE

Have you ever considered how inanimate objects might feel about various political issues?

 

No?

 

Then you probably won’t get this post.

 

A recent twitter conversation with one of my followers sparked me to question the hopes and dreams of one of my favorite baked goods. And hence, this list was born.

Ambitions of a Cookie

  1. Help a Girl Scout earn her badge.
  2. Be dunked in a glass of ice cold milk.
  3. Get baked.
  4. Join the circus.
  5. Become an ice cream sandwich.
  6. Never crumble under pressure.
  7. Incriminate wrongdoers on the basis of their questionable web-browsing activity.
  8. Make lots of dough.
  9. Provide an ample sugar rush.
  10. Go nuts.
  11. Gain fame as a beloved puppet’s sidekick.
  12. Reveal someone’s future.
  13. Build a house.
  14. Discover my feminine side.
  15. Become a well-known comedian and artist.
  16. Comfort a girl after a crappy break-up.
  17. Support interracial marriage.

Numbers 4, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17 refer to specific types of cookies. Whoever successfully names the most will receive a delivery of delicious cookie noms courtesy of me.