Hey, nerds! Who’s got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn’t cried once today?

Yes, I’m back to using Liz Lemon quotes as blog titles. They just sum up my life so perfectly.

I haven’t updated in a week, but in my own defense, I have been so incredibly busy between a new semester, a new job, a new volunteer position, new campus activities, and of course, a new football season!

That’s a heck of a a lot of new, you guys.

This semester I am taking four classes at Centenary (16 credits) and one at County (3 credits). I lucked out and all the classes are either at night or online which I prefer since these are typically taught by associate professors who are still active in their respective fields. I have Advanced Accounting II on Monday nights, Organizational Behavior on Wednesday nights, Quantitative Literacy on Thursday nights, and Management Styles and Corporate Responsibility are both online.

I’m also blessed with an amazing new job I started last week. I am working on the social media team for a well-known public relations agency and am involved with some really cool clients. I’m so excited to learn more and get some hands-on experience with a variety of brands.

Last week, I started volunteering with Eleventh Hour Rescue, a local dog rescue that I’ve admired for a long time. They go around the country (and world!) saving dogs who have been sentenced to death for no reason except a lack of room in overcrowded and underfunded shelters. I got to meet some great people and adorable pups and am hoping to get started on some fundraising, marketing, and events with them as well! PS if you’re one of my two readers, please consider taking a second out of reading this insanely interesting blog post to vote for Eleventh Hour in Chase Community Giving. They are so deserving and just one click can save the lives of countless puppies who are going to be killed for no reason. Please help them!

I’m also happy to announce that I finally worked up the courage to go to some Campus Ministry activities at our school. There are two weekly events – Worship on Tuesday nights and Food & Faith on Thursday nights. I felt very welcomed and have had some great conversations. Last night I even felt God using me to reach out to others. So awesome!

And last (but certainly not least!) it is officially football season!

My Alabama boys are currently 2-0 with crushing wins over Michigan and Western Kentucky. Our conference games start this Saturday at Arkansas.



Sunday Social!

I’m so bummed I missed last week’s Sunday Social link-up, but I guess I can’t complain since I was at the greatest music festival ever!

Let’s get started, shall we?

Sunday Social

What is your dream job?

My dream job would be Vice President of Marketing for either a client side company with a focus on social good or for an animal or child focused non-profit such as the SPCA or St. Jude’s. I definitely want to reach a high level in my career, but I want my ascent to be cause-based rather than money-based. Although paying off my loans eventually would be nice.

If you had just won the lottery and didn’t need to work for money, what would you do with your time?

I would definitely be extremely involved with non-profits. It would be awesome to be the director of a shelter and donate my salary right back. I would also travel everywhere and do some volunteering/mission work overseas. I think I’d also like to try out a bunch of different careers: maybe get back into acting, try out cooking, open my own bakery.

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A ballerina. I mean, what 5 year old girl doesn’t want to be a ballerina? That progressed into dancer on Broadway, which then became actress until I decided at the last possible minute to go to school for marcom instead.

What piece of career advice would you give to someone just starting out in your field?

Intern. Even if it’s unpaid. It doesn’t even need to be a place with a true internship program. Ask a local charity or small business if you can come help them with their marketing/advertising/pr/events part time during the summer. You’ll gain valuable experience and a reference. I did an unpaid internship at a non-profit the summer after my sophomore year and that experience has led to multiple jobs and invaluable contacts in my field.

Biggest Pet Peeves either in life or in blogging or at work?

I dislike being undervalued because of my age. I understand that being at the bottom of the ladder means a lot of menial tasks sometimes, but I also have a lot to contribute. I’ve had amazing jobs where this was never an issue, but I’ve also encountered people that want to hand me all of their brainless busy work instead of getting me involved with big projects.

Biggest fears?

Failure. Voldemort. I’m not particularly fond of spiders/bugs/snakes or ferrets because they look like furry snakes.

It’s Ok Thursday

I’m so excited that my first time linking up for It’s Ok Thursdays coincides with its one year anniversary!

Its Ok Thursdays

It’s okay…

That I have crushes on fictional 19th century Russian characters.

That I took a full 24 hours to recover from Firefly. And ate half a pan of brownies in the process.

That I didn’t get the grade I needed in my crazy finance intensive and now I have to retake it.

That I weigh myself obsessively.

That I still enjoy the Disney channel.

That I wore a bikini top instead of a bra for two days in a row because I’m too lazy to do laundry.

That I ate cheesecake for dinner tonight.

That I’m sad over what could have been.

That I’m moving on.

My dog is not a Sith Lord

Am I the only person who enjoys walking outside barefoot? I was walking my dog today sans shoes and I kept getting the strangest looks from my neighbors. It’s not like we live in some urban wasteland where the streets are filled with unsterilized needles and used condoms. The worst thing I could step on is a stray piece of gravel. Although, admittedly, I have walked barefoot in city streets, most notably Philadelphia’s Broad Street during a monsoon. Because I’m weird and like walking in the city rain and my feet haven’t felt any pain since I was forced to dance with blocks of wood on my toes for six years.

Besides not feeling pain I also have this abnormally large space between by big toe and the rest of my toes, on both feet. I mean, my feet are small. My toes are freaking miniscule. My nickname in dance was Twinkle Toes. I can’t even paint my pinky toe nail because it doesn’t exist. But anyway, that space is due to the fact that when I sit with my legs crossed on a couch or bed, I rest my entire top foot in between that space. Everyone thinks I’m so weird and gross, but it is so extremely comfortable and cozy.

This post is becoming all about my feet which was never my intention.

May the fourth be with you!

(My excellent method of segway in conversation is to shout-out the topic I desire to talk about. This would make me an excellent presidential candidate during debates.)

Today is Star Wars Day and also, my dog’s birthday. So in avoiding being a real person and unloading the dishwasher/putting on pants/finishing my nutrition project, I decided to have a little fun.

Did you know there are sites with free Stars Wars character printable masks?

This actually is not the first time I have used this service, but we’ll save that story for another time because I’m already turning this into the longest post in the history of time.

I decided it would be adorable to take picture of Kirby in various masks. I decided to go with an Ewok (because he looks exactly like one), Yoda (because he is wise and I like to think he speaks in the same uncompositioned way) and Darth Vader (because he is a little bit evil).

The Darth Vader one dried first, and this is what ensued:

Kirby, come here! I have a birthday treat for you! *Distracts dog with treat as I halfway fasten mask to his bandana*
Successfully attached mask, but the dog is obviously not interested in my tom foolery. Either that, or he does not want people to see his Dark Side. Oh, and at the bottom of this picture you can see part of my small toe. So the first part of this post was actually relevant and not at all rambly.
*Must destroy Dark Forces* I should really consider a career as an action shot photog.
*I haz conquered Sith Lord*. At this point, I attempted to explain how Darth was actually a good guy underneath it all and he saved his son by sacrificing himself, but Kirby was having none of it.
*I can haz treat now?* 

Vamping with velociraptors

When you look up synomyms on Thesaurus.com (which I often do mainly because my brain is too ADHD to be able to think of the word I’m trying to think of), they usually provide example sentences for the use of the word if it can be a verb/noun/adjective/etc. So when I was typing the title for this post, I looked up flirt, and this was one of the example sentences:

He is a master of moving the dialogue along, an epicene flirt with a mustache who wears cashmere jackets and pastel socks.

I would like to find this man and marry him at once.

In other romantic news, I know it’s completely embarrassing and still not totally embraced by society, but I have an online dating account which I use occasionally as an ego boost and also in hopes of talking to interesting people who don’t wear wife beaters. You get a lot of creepy, hilarious, and scary messages, especially when dealing with a free service. I take these in stride, but I hit a new low with a recent message.

It was from a dinosaur.

I don’t mean an old guy. I mean an actual dinosaur. Not just the picture, the entire profile is that of a dinosaur.

So, there you have it. We’re even a 94% match. My dating prospects have now been whittled down to velociraptors.

Oh, and to explain the  context of the message, I have a dinosaur nightlight because I’m afraid of monsters.

I’m the girl who holds squirrel funerals.

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you already know that 1. I am the weirdest person ever, and 2. I really love animals. Except for the pug, with whom I have a love/hate relationship.

I get so upset whenever I see an animal that has been hit by a car. I adore almost every animal God put on this Earth (except for spiders, scary bugs, and snakes, but no one likes those anyway).

Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a tiny, gray ball of fur curled up in our yard. I thought it was strange that an animal would be laying out in the open like that, especially considering how many hawks we have around here. I brought Kirby inside and went to go investigate.

I crept up and saw it was a tiny baby squirrel. It looked like he was just sleeping, curled up among the blades of grass. I didn’t want to leave him alone since he was so small and could easily be attacked or eaten by another animal. I took a leaf and gently brushed his back. He didn’t move. That’s when I noticed his bottom arm looked like it was bent in a funny position. I slowly rolled him over and saw that it was obviously broken and it had probably been from a fall.

This tiny, little helpless creature was dead. And I was heartbroken.

You could tell he had a family that took care of him: his fur was smooth and clean and he looked well-fed. I didn’t want to just leave him there, knowing the weather or other animals would destroy his body. So I organized a squirrel funeral.

I guessed he had fallen from a branch right above where he lay, so I dug a small hole next to the base of that tree. I laid him inside, covered him, and then placed rocks and pinecones at the head. I ran around my yard gathering flowers to cover his little grave.

I wanted his family to be able to visit him from their tree and thought he deserved a nice, little memorial. I cried a little bit and then went inside and left him to rest in peace.

I am officially a crazy person.

I’m not a player, I just crush a lot.

I will freely admit that I am one of those girls who fall in like very quickly. Whether it’s the cute Coast Guard boy in my accounting class, Alec Baldwin, or someone I have an actual shot at dating, I tend to read people fairly well and assess their potential in my large pool of daydream scenarios.

When I’m not crushing on a real, live human being, I sometimes turn to fictional characters. That’s right, I’m a fictiophile. I wouldn’t say I’m quite as creepy as the middle aged women who gets tattoos of Edward Cullen’s face on their bodies, but I’m heading in that direction.

Some of my current and former crushes include:

Oliver Wood (book version, not movie version)

In the books, we get to see him as a man in control (and maybe a little OCD). Yum.

Super Grover

Yes, I have a crush on a Sesame Street character. But it’s the superhero version, so back off.

Marius from Les Mis
If you’ve never seen Les Mis, you really should. I relate so much to Eponine, admiring Marius from afar and dreaming of being with him.
Cory Matthews

How can you not love Cory Matthews? I remember being young and watching Boy Meets World, dreaming about the day I’d meet a guy just like him,  loving and goofy.

Peeta Mellark (book version since I haven't seen the movie)

Oh, Peeta. He may be the perfect guy. Loving, protective, creative, and funny. Plus, he can bake.

Matt Saracen

I dare you to watch Friday Night Lights and not fall in love with Matt. He is so sweet, shy, and dorky, it makes me squeal. Watching him pursue and then love Julie is the most adorable thing ever.

Henry Alden from The Boxcar Children

One of my biggest childhood crushes. I used to dream I was their neighbor and got to go on adventures and fall in love with Henry.

Ephram Brown

Everwood was my favorite show through middle school/early high school. Ephram was my dream guy and probably the reason I dated a pianist. He was dark and brooding, and yet had this sarcastic humor I just loved.

 I’ve left out one of my biggest crushes: my Disney “prince” crush! You can see him revealed here tomorrow. (Ah, the anticipation).

And now that I’ve ‘fessed up, who are some of your fictional crushes?

Dream a little dream of me

I know I’ve talked about dreams (or rather nightmares) here before, but I just have to revisit the subject. The last couple weeks, I have been having the weirdest dreams. Normally, I remember at least 1-2 dreams a night and they are always weird. So for these recent ones to be blog-worthy, you know they have to raised the bar on anti-normalness.

The subjects have ranged from being peed on by the world’s largest alligator to attempting to dig a hole to the center of the Earth. They tend to be on the scary side, as evidenced by last night’s where I imagined I was Belle and the Beast was holding all of the Disney princesses captive in a scary castle and I tried to kill him with a machete, but did not succeed.

Some of them have been awesome, like the time I dreamt I was playing the lead in a Hannah Montana musical.

I’ve found this dream website where you can search different terms and find out what they mean. So far, I’ve been told I’m dying, I need to find a man, and I have no money.

I love hearing about people’s dreams. I love interpreting them even more. So lay it on me, lovely readers! If you post one of your own crazy dreams in the comments, I will interpret it, free of charge! Although, feel free to send me a pony. Or a man. Or a man-pony. Centaurs FTW!

It’s better to give

I hate making a Christmas list for myself. I’d honestly much rather give gifts to the people I love than list off the things I want from them. I’ve always been like that. When I was little, my letters to Santa always included pleas for him to bring gifts to others, whether it was good health for my grandpa, a truck for my brother, or homes for all the puppies.

I absolutely love planning amazing gifts for people and (not to brag) I’m really good at it. I wish I could be a professional gift giver.

One Christmas, my brother and I made our entire house like Stars Hallow from Gilmore Girls for my mom. We got her Gilmore Girls themed gifts and turned our kitchen into Luke’s Diner, complete with menus.

For Jen’s birthday one year, I filled a clothing gift box with sand and beach themed items including shells, flip flops, and even a spilled ice cream cone I made out of clay. I tied a shovel to the box and told her to dig for her present. Under the sand I had written that I’d be taking her down the shore for a day for her birthday.

For Renee’s graduation this past summer, I decided to be a little more sentimental. I came up with a list of phrases and then matched them to items. For example: a travel size deodorant that says “don’t sweat the small stuff” and a plunger that says “shit happens”.

I definitely get the gift-giving gene from my mom. She puts so much time and effort into every gift she gives. It’s never been about how much money you can spend, it’s about finding something that makes the person smile. A lot of our family gifts are tied to inside jokes or are just plain silly. My mom always makes us open our gifts in a certain order for maximum effect, with the last gift being the best. Two years ago, my last gift was a stuffed donkey that sang and flapped its ears to Sugar Pie, Honey Bun. My mom thought it was the funniest thing in the entire world, but I couldn’t believe she had wasted $20 on it. So last year, I enlisted all of my friends to help me retaliate. I borrowed every singing stuffed animal I could find and ended up with a collection of almost 30. My brother and I wrapped each one up and planted them in front of the tree for our gift exchange. My mom laughed when she opened the first one, but by the time she got to the tenth she was really freaking out. I finally told her I had not spent all of my paycheck on singing animals and she calmed down.

I’ve planned countless surprise parties since I also love playing hostess. There is nothing I love more than surprising the people I care about. I’ve done a few for my friends, but I also threw one for my mom’s 50th birthday. It was honestly one of the best parties I’ve ever been to (way better than Cornell frats). There is seriously nothing funnier than 20 middle-aged women squinting to read the screen on Catch Phrase and shouting out awkward answers.

My favorite gift I’ve ever given was a Christmas present for my grandma. I was 17 and it was a few months after my grandpa had passed away and she was spending the winter with us since Erie gets hit hard with tons of snow. She had been complaining that the top of her lipstick kept falling off in her purse, so I got the idea to get her a lipstick case. I found a beautiful silver one and decided to have it engraved with “Clara and Butch, Forever and Always” (my grandparents nicknames for each other). It moved her to tears and all of us ended up crying together. Even now, with her short-term memory pretty much gone, my grandma still remembers this gift.

I have a lot up my sleeve this Christmas and have been doing a lot of elfing, but that is a blog post for another time.

I’m the next Scorcese

I am a multi-talented kid. I am a songwriter, a stand-up comedian, and a renowned Sculpey artist. But two of my greatest hidden talents are my skills as a director and videographer.

You all know I’m a terrible matchmaker and ended up stealing a boy from my friend. Well, Kyle and I were together until the night before high school started when he broke up with me over AIM because his mom wanted him to concentrate on school instead of girls. I’m fairly convinced the real reason was that he hated Disney World and refused to plan our imaginary Disney wedding. But this is all in the past.

Fast forward a couple months and we still have a great deal of mutual friends. He has a new girl (proving my Disney world theory), but it’s okay because I had moved on to older men. We were in the same English class along with all of our friends and our teacher Mrs Hayes assigned a group project. We had to team up and recreate Romeo and Juliet using any medium we preferred.

We ended up with about 12 people in our group for some reason, including Kyle. We decided to make a modern movie version of Romeo & Juliet. We began casting roles and everyone wanted Kyle to be Romeo since he was tall and good-looking. I was pushed to be Juliet because of my acting experience (I was the only freshman cast in the high school’s fall play and one of two freshman girls in the spring musical. I was kind of a rockstar.) However, due to our history, I refused to partner up with Kyle. Another girl played Juliet and I chose to move behind-the-scenes and took on the role of director and videographer.

Our group was a bunch of type-A honor roll kids, so of course the production was a huge deal. We wrote a script, had costumes, set design, and everyone memorized their lines. We got together almost every day for two weeks to work on everything and film. Most of the filming was done around my house and neighborhood since it was close to some of my groupmates homes. We filmed the balcony scene with “Juliet” leaning out of my bedroom window.

The climactic scene of our movie was the lovestruck couple meeting at a bridge and planning to run away together before they are caught and they jump off. This was the last scene we needed to film and we had spent all day on it. There was a little bridge over a stream in the neighborhood next to mine, so we filmed there. We were having a hard time getting it right and everyone was getting antsy.

We finally got the take we needed and wrapped filming. My mom drove down to pick us and our equipment and props up to bring us back to my house for pizza and a screening of our masterpiece. We came in, put everything away, and settled in to watch.

I plugged in the video camera and suddenly noticed something was wrong. Instead of the opening scenes, all I saw was what looked like the inside of a car. I could hear my own voices and my friends’ voices in the background. I tried rewinding and fastforwarding, but couldn’t find anything we had filmed.

I had forgotten to turn the camera off after the last scene and somehow ended up taping over everything we had filmed the last two weeks.

Everyone was absolutely pissed. I nearly broke down into tears, but there was no one else to blame. The group quickly tried to figure out a time for everyone to get together to re-film the entire movie. Someone proposed doing it that weekend, but I was going to be out of town for a dance competition and said I couldn’t make it. No one seemed to care that the girl who had ruined the entire project couldn’t make it, so they decided to get together that weekend anyway.

We had to present our projects in the class the next week and I tried every trick in the book to get my mom to let me stay home. I ran the thermometer under hot water and did as much fake coughing as I could to no avail.

English was last period and I spent the whole day dreading it. I was afraid the video would turn out terribly, we’d get a bad grade, and it’d be all my fault.

It finally came time for class and I purposely sat in the back corner away from the angry glares of my group mates. One of them popped in the video as I turned white from nervousness.

It actually turned out well, almost as good as what we had originally filmed. Our teacher was amazed at how far above and beyond we had gone and immediately rewarded each of us extra credit.

Everyone in the group eventually forgave me, but I was never trusted with a video camera again.