When it comes to dating, I have no idea what I’m doing. I am the opposite of a love guru. My ineptitude dates back long before I even began my foray into the world of romance.
Despite never having a boyfriend, I decided to take on the esteemed role of matchmaker in the fall of 8th grade. My friend Liz had a crush on a boy in our class named Kyle. Kyle was the smartest guy in our grade. He was in band, he was tall and cute, and he was really nice. Lots of girls liked him and he had plenty of female friends. My two best friends were close with him and I was beginning to get to know him better as well.
I started out by talking to Kyle at lunch and trying to work Liz into the conversation. We soon exchanged AIM screennames and began chatting every night. We developed inside jokes and spent tons of time together at school. I found myself falling for him, despite my promise to Liz to get him to like her.
I denied my feelings at first. I’ve always been someone who puts her friendships before boys, so I refused to acknowledge my growing crush. I tried my best to shift the focus to Liz and include her in our conversations and activities, but Kyle did not seem interested at all.
Finally, the night of our Halloween dance, I planned to ask Kyle outright if he thought Liz was cute and if he would consider a date with her. I approached him on the side of the dance floor when suddenly one of the popular girls came up to us. She cooed over how cute a couple we were and Kyle looked at me with a shy smile on his face. I froze, no idea what to say, and ran away (this is how I effectively deal with all men).
I sprinted to the cafeteria where Liz was anxiously awaiting Kyle’s answer. I burst into tears and told her that I was afraid he might like me. She was not happy about this. She yelled at me for being a horrible friend and stormed off.
My friends found me and told me Kyle wanted to talk. I hesitantly agreed and we met in a quiet corner where he confessed that he liked me and had no interest in Liz. I continued to deny my feelings since I felt terrible for betraying my friend.
Over the next two weeks, Kyle kept trying to convince me to go out with him and even talked to Liz a couple times to try to smooth things over. She finally forgave me and gave us her blessing. The next day was Halloween, and Kyle asked me out while dressed like a hippie.
And that’s how I got my first boyfriend by stealing a man from my friend and being the worst matchmaker ever.